There’s a song lyric by the late songwriter Leonard Cohen that says, “Ring the bells that still can ring / Forget your perfect offering / There is a crack in everything / That’s how the light gets in”
Are you facing a serious challenge? Something is just not going the way you wanted or planned? That's a crack. Are you having an interaction with another human being (or maybe several of them), or even with an idea or belief system that just isn't sitting well with you? Are you doing your best to be loving and happy, but running up against barrier upon barrier? Those are cracks, too. Do you have memories of past mistakes that haunt you and keep you up at night? You guessed it - that's a crack – perhaps of the most annoying kind.
Contrary to what we may think, life isn't supposed to be a flawless experience, occasionally interrupted by troubles or cracks; rather life is wholly comprised of cracks, with an occasional stretch of cohesiveness thrown in here or there, maybe just to give us a chance to catch our breath and get our feet under us. But here's the thing about the cracks we experience: They can be the best part about our lives.
I always approach this next statement with care because it would be very easy for it to sound like an anthem of victimization. I assure you, it’s not. What follows is simply an honest list of what Cohen so poetically called “cracks” in my own life. The list includes neglect, poverty, sexual abuse, addiction, domestic violence, unemployment, sexual harassment, divorce, age discrimination, estrangement from my children, spiritual abuse, bankruptcy, and personal and professional failures of many flavors.
As I was experiencing each of these life challenges, I developed two beliefs. First, I believed that I must be doing something wrong to be on the receiving end of so many troubles. Second, I believed that someone somewhere had answers for me and I found myself perpetually seeking guidance. I figured that there had to be some religion, some friend, some book, some expert – SOMEONE – who could tell me what the hell was going on and what to do to fix it. I went from suffering to suffering, seeking answers along the way, but I never really found any; I only found more questions. Yet it was the hope of finding that elusive secret something, the hope of being saved from my troubles that kept me endlessly seeking.
I discovered that there is big money in marketing to people like me; there’s huge money in personal suffering. Everyone is looking for answers, and there are far too many people offering to solve our challenges with a secret formula or a special church or even a yoga pose.
All of these charlatans are in the business of churning out pre-packaged truth to fit our unique needs. And if we buy their truth (which we will, because we will do just about anything to put an end to our suffering), and if we then apply it and it doesn’t solve our problems, well, then, there must be something still wrong with us. But don’t worry – they have a book or a course or a crystal for that, too. Wisdom and peace, buy-one-get-one.
Each of the cracks in my life offered me new wisdom about myself, about life, and about other people. I only complicated matters by looking for solutions. There was no way that anyone else could truly understand my challenges the way I did, and there was no one who could know enough about me, my values, my spiritual beliefs, my dreams, or my sorrows, to counsel me in a real and lasting way.
So those are the key ideas I offer you:
🗝 Everyone struggles no matter what their life might look like from the outside
🗝 No one has a secret answer or solution for you
🗝 The troubles you face – the cracks in your life – are where light shines in, as if to say, “Look here! This is something you need to pay attention to. This is an opportunity to grow in strength and wisdom.”
You know, when my sister Angela and I published the Iris & Lily novel series, we had no idea that we would sell more than 100,000 copies, or that we would start a movement among women who are still reeling from the cracks in their own lives, who are struggling to re-envision their personal history, to gain liberty from the cages that confine them. Most often, they had built those cages for themselves, and then climbed in and pulled the door closed behind them. I know I did.
And while the stories of Iris & Lily don’t propose to offer solutions, they are stories of two women who grew up scratching and clawing their way through life, going through a version of the process that we all must go through if we are to heal and grow. And when you can witness that – even if it is through fictional characters – it can be a great source of hope and encouragement.
So, the bad news is that we will all experience cracks in life, and we never know when they will occur, or how we will be affected by them. But the good news is that with each new one, comes the light to heal and to see the next leg of the journey.
Join me on this cracked up adventure. We’ll have some laughs, learn some stuff, see visions, dream dreams, and help each other find the Way.
🕊 & ❤️
Julie
Julie Scipioni is the co-author of the bestselling novel series for women, "Iris & Lily," and author of "Taking the Stairs: My Journal of Healing and Self-Discovery.” Julie’s debut solo novel, “downward facing dogs” is also now available on Amazon. For more information and to order, see Julie’s Amazon Author page.