At the beginning of the pandemic, I wanted to write a lot. I was scared, confused, and angry, as most of us were. Writing was how I processed what I was experiencing. But it wasn’t long before the feelings were coming at me faster than I could type; they overwhelmed me. Confusion set in, despair too, and it became evident to me that the writing didn’t really matter. It was futile; there was no way to process what was going on. The writing wouldn’t change anything and it wouldn't provide any answers. So I just stopped, and I slowly began to shut down.
As it appears that we may soon be coming out on the other side of this holy mess, I’m seeking a reason to write again.
My writing still doesn’t matter. At least not in the sense that it will change the world. And I still sometimes feel overwhelmed and I still don’t know what I have to offer.
In other words, I still don’t have any answers.
What is dawning on me now is that my mistake was thinking that the writing was ever about answers. Some writing is. Text books, newspapers, and people who think they know better than you do about what you should value and how you should live your life. My writing is not that.
I’m not an expert on anything except my own life experience. And maybe my experience is not so different from yours. Maybe we can find some common ground there, in the ordinary, and in doing so we can keep each other company, encourage one another, and travel together for a bit.
I am releasing myself from the pressure to be profound, or right, or poetic, or expert in anything except being human.
So writing about ordinary things can become the campfire that I can invite you to sit by with me. Maybe we can sing a song, roast a marshmallow, and get that wonderful smell of smoke on our clothes.
That’s how we’ll know we spent some time together as friends.
🕊 & ❤️
Julie
Julie Scipioni is the co-author of the bestselling novel series for women, "Iris & Lily," and author of "Taking the Stairs: My Journal of Healing and Self-Discovery.” Julie’s debut solo novel, “downward facing dogs” is also now available on Amazon. For more information and to order, see Julie’s Amazon Author page.